I’m concerned with what I see in youth and high school sports. I’m not trying to be dramatic, I’m really not. Why am I so concerned? I am seeing a culture that focuses so much on the future that the beauty of the present moment is being lost.
We are obsessed with the next level. Parents of young children worry if they aren’t playing good competition, they won’t make the travel team. If they aren’t on a great travel team, they won’t be prepared for middle school sports. If they don’t have a major role on the middle school team, they won’t be a star on the high school team. If they aren’t the star on the high school team, they won’t go “D1.” If they don’t go D1, then they won’t sign a pro contract.
This mindset is upsetting to me. Every team, season, experience, etc. has the opportunity to be incredibly special. I’ve had high school kids tell me they are excited to get through their season so they can get to college ball. NO….they are missing the change to do something special right now!
There’s no guarantee the future situation will be better than the one in front of you.
Meet Coach Butch Chaffin:
Crooksville High School in Tennessee is home to legendary skipper, Butch Chaffin. Coach Chaffin has been in the game for nearly 35 years. Along with a HOF high school coaching career, he’s also a member of the TEAM USA coaching staff, has been a college coach, and a professional scout. He’s someone who coaches at every level respect.
In his office there is a sign which states:
“Too many kids have been taught the goal of High School sports is to achieve an ATHLETIC scholarship. Here is the truth: The goal of High School sports is to learn how to be a better person, better teammate, better communicator and to enjoy being a teenager…something you can’t get back.”
Coach Chaffin is a winner. He knows what it takes to play at the highest level. His concern, however, is getting kids (and parents) to be where their feet are.
Words from a Power 5 Head Coach
A Power 5 head baseball coach told me he tells his players, “You are not going to the Big Leagues.”
This coach is a thoughtful person. He cares deeply about his players. So, why would he say that? Doesn’t he want his players to reach the pinnacle of baseball?
It’s because focusing so much on a future goal limits the present experience. Playing high-level collegiate baseball is awesome. Pursuing a common purpose with teammates can be life changing. Obsessing about something in the future distorts the moment. If a player doesn’t get the role they want their mind goes to, “I can’t go the Big Leagues sitting the bench.” The present lessons are lost with this state of mind.
It’s healthier, more productive, and more rewarding to pour themselves into the present moment. And, the chances of achieving high-level goals, like going to the Big Leagues, is more likely to happen if they are immersed in the experience in front of them.
Sports as an Educational Laboratory
Is there a better educational setting than sports? What if parents view the sporting experience as an elite educational opportunity? This mindset shift could change the entire experience.
Your daughter isn’t in the starting line-up: this is an opportunity to add value in a different role. Or, an opportunity to display grit and continue working to earn a starting spot.
Your son’s coach is completely unreasonable: I don’t know about you, but I’ve worked for unreasonable people. What an opportunity to get some repetitions dealing with difficult personalities.
Your child doesn’t get chosen for a team: Maybe this is life’s way of seeing if this is something they really want to do.
Poor officiating: a chance to handle adversity.
Mean fans: a chance to display composure.
Bad teammates: an opportunity to achieve a goal even when you don’t like someone.
Playing in a big game: The gift of handling pressure.
Sports is a classroom without walls. The life lessons are everywhere.
It’s more than an external future reward.
Final Thoughts:
Typically, I live in the grey area. I feel context matters so much that taking a hard stance is tough for me. However, I am a firm believer we rob young people when we obsess about the future.
What if we as parents took the approach of the Power 5 coach and thought: “Our kids aren’t going to the Big Leagues?” What if we followed the advice of a legendary coach and reminded ourselves: “Let them enjoy being a kid/teenager because they can’t get that back?”
Most importantly, what if we embraced all the highs and lows which sports can provide as an opportunity to help the growth and development of our kids?
If there was a course available which would help improve our child’s grit, resilience, problem solving skills, and help them forge long lasting relationships we would sign them up and stay out of the way.
That, not a scholarship, is the benefit of sports.
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