Recently, I attended a workshop on Servant Leadership hosted by Paul Scanlon.  Besides being the best orator I’ve witnessed, Paul’s content was phenomenal. He took shots at nearly every profession represented in the room: bankers, politicians, educators and clergy members.  However, he walked the fine line of honesty and candor without making it personal. 

Paul was on the topic of building committed teams when he dropped the nugget of the night.  He asked, “how do you build loyalty within your team?” I was on the edge of my seat waiting for a long answer.  He responded with, “Ask someone, ‘How’s your momma doing’?” 

His statement sent me back nearly a decade ago when I was on a job interview.  Somehow the topic of my parents came up and I mentioned my father was deceased.  The interviewer sat back and with a welcoming smile said, “Tell me about your dad.”

Despite the job having many problems and clearly not a fit for me, I almost took the position.  Why? Because I felt a tremendous connection with the person interviewing. Her willingness to break the pattern of a typical interview, take a risk, and connect was powerful.

Our world is moving fast.  Automation, science and data have changed the landscape of nearly every business.  While information is being exchanged at warp speed it’s important to remember that humans need connection. 

I believe the organizations that can maintain the human touch will be ones that thrive in the years to come.  Sure, advancement in technology is important, but nothing can motivate, inspire, and create loyalty like a warm smile, a friendly pat on the back, or an inquisitive question. 

Paul challenged the audience, “lift your chin and realize there is a human on the other side.”  I challenge you to do the same this week. Let’s put the devices down and sit across from someone we care about and ask with genuine curiosity, “How’s your momma doing?” 

(This article was originally released in June 2019)

“Call it both ways!” “Those referees are cheating us!” “You are the worst, Blue!”

How many times have you heard (or said) these phrases at a game? I get to see a lot of amateur sporting events and I am still amazed at the frequency of disparaging comments made at officials by fans, coaches and even players.  It’s appalling behavior simply because it’s no way to treat another person. There is, however, an underlying reason why I am so put off by these comments. The reason came to light after reading, “The Choice: Embrace the Possible,” by Dr. Edith Eva Eger.

Obviously, I love sports and the life lessons they teach.  Not all teaching is positive. If we are not aware of our actions and behaviors the results are damaging.  Frequently, comments are made about how a team “gets all the calls.” Or we’ll speak of an assumed advantage another organization possesses that makes them successful.  As fans or participants we rarely give credit for excellence. It has to be something external; something beyond our control. It can never be the opposition was simply better.

A Victim or Thriver:

“A good definition of being a victim is when you keep the focus outside of yourself, when you look outside yourself for someone to blame for your present circumstances, or to determine your purpose, fate or worth.” – Dr. Eger

If you play competitive sports I guarantee you will be victimized. Someone will do you wrong – an official will blow a call, a teammate will not pass you the ball, an opponent will perform an illegal act or your coach will not utilize your talent properly.  These things are not your fault; however, how you choose to respond to these events will determine whether you become a victim or a thriver.

A victim sees these circumstances as an injustice.  He develops a pessimistic mindset. He feels he has no control over the situation so he stops trying.  Instead of looking inward, the victim will look outside himself for the answer. The victim spends his time blaming and complaining which quickly turns to self-loathing.

A thriver, on the other hand, acknowledges that he has been wronged, but he takes responsibility for his hardship and healing. The thriver doesn’t place blame for the wrongdoing; instead, he begins the hard work necessary to move forward. The thriver moves toward the pain and understands it’s only temporary.  While the victims ask, “why me,” the thriver says, “what’s next.”

A Note to Parents:

Do we want our children to be victims or thrivers? I really believe we have the opportunity to shape their mindset in a positive way.

First, it starts with awareness.  We must realize that our words and actions are the foundation. Are we modeling behaviors like blaming the officials for our child’s lack of success?  Is it the coach’s fault? Are we inadvertently creating a victim?

Next, we have to understand that when our child is wronged, it is actually an OPPORTUNITY for them to grow.  The hardship they have been dealt can transform them to thrive; to be a person who overcomes obstacles, perseveres and develops grit. A football coach I highly respect told me parents should pray their kids are third string.  They’ll develop more life skills than the person that begins as a starter.

Lastly, we must fight the powerful urge to intervene and remove the obstacle.  Removal of our child’s pain point will feel good as a parent in the short-term. With enough work we can remove the bully from their group, get their coach fired, have their teacher reprimanded, get them on the all-star team. But are we really helping them?  Or are we actually developing a victim?

The Sports and Life Parallel:

Just like we will eventually be wronged in sports, in life, there will be times when we are victimized but that doesn’t mean we are victims. We’ll experience a bad boss; we’ll be passed over for a promotion; factors outside of our control will lead to suffering. Worse yet, illness to ourselves and love ones will eventually strike.  How we choose to respond to these events are within our control.

Dr. Eger writes, “suffering is inevitable and universal – how we respond to suffering differs.”   This week, I will be intentional with my words and actions with my children and those around me to instill values of choice.  I will choose to thrive and not be a victim.


Webinar Wednesday, January 6
, 2021

Before we get into this week’s article I wanted to invite you to a webinar discussing my new on-line course: Creating Culture. Joe Ferraro host of the 1% Better Podcast will be joining me for a conversation on culture, change and high-performing organizations. Here is the link. I hope to see you there!

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Is there any better environment to test confidence than a UFC fight? 

Can you imagine standing outside of a dressing room waiting for the fight? Then walking down the aisle in front of thousands of live fans and millions watching on TV.  Waiting in the ring is a person highly trained in the art of doing physical damage. 

Did I mention you are doing this while wearing basically your underwear?   

You’d learn pretty quickly whether or not you were confident.  Don’t you think? 

Confidence is an amazing phenomenon.  Most will agree that to perform at a high level confidence is a must.  Recently, I went down a rabbit hole pondering this elusive trait. 

From the Dictionary

To help, I turned to the Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary. Confidence is “having or showing assurance and self-reliance; full of conviction.”  Needing more clarity I looked further into assurance, “freedom from self-doubt or uncertainty” and conviction, “a strong persuasion or belief.”

Get in the Arena

How does one become confident?  It’s important to understand we’ll never know our confidence level until we are in a high stakes environment: a big game, job interview, first date, a performance, standing over a four foot putt, speaking in public….a UFC fight.  It’s easy to believe we have assurance in times of comfort.  It’s when the pressure dials up where our conviction is tested. 

Can it be inherited? 

Earlier this month, I tuned into Duke Basketball’s press conference following their loss against Illinois.  Duke is a national power, but they experienced back-to-back losses.  Coach Krzyzewski’s team is young and struggling with confidence.  “This is a learned experience.  This is not inherited wealth. You have to earn that with a new group.” 

Coach K has made it clear that the past success of their program doesn’t create confidence for the present team.  Confidence is developed with hard work, struggle, perseverance, and ultimately triumph. 

The process cannot be cheated. 

Conor McGregor’s Walkout:

I showed our team this video of Connor McGregor walking into the ring.  Here were the observations:

“He’s calm but alert.”

“He’s using his body: chest is out and eyes forward.”

“He’s weird and unusual”- Joe Rogan

“He owns the ring when he climbs through the ropes.”

 “He’s won the fight in his mind.  There’s no doubt.”

To me, this is a 3:00 minute clip of what confidence looks like.  He’s walking into the ring against a highly skilled fighter.  He’s putting it all on the line.  He’s earned the right to believe. 

Three Confidence To Do’s:

Coach K taught us that confidence can’t be inherited.  So, here are a few things to consider to become confident:

  1. Do the Work: Nothing can replace ridiculous hard work.  There’s no way McGregor could enter the ring free of doubt if his training wasn’t thorough.  No amount of showmanship can deliver results.  The plan and process must be there.
  2. Do something Hard: We are in the middle of a pandemic.  There are constraints on just about anything we do. For some athletes, training facilities are closed or heavily restricted. It’s easy to throw in the towel. I believe this is an opportunity to do something hard.  Go run a hill.  Dribble in the snow.  Get up early.  Making sacrifices and doing things that make no sense to anyone but you is a pathway to confidence. 
  3. Do You: Rogan calls McGregor, “weird and unusual.”  How cool is that!  Being confident requires leaning into our authentic self.  Accepting and welcoming judgement and criticism are ways to combat being self-conscious.  Who cares what others think?

Final Thought

“You need to know you’ve done everything possible for this moment.  You will not quit on yourself.  You’ve been in difficult situations and overcame them.”- Forrest Griffin, UFC Vice President of Athlete Development, on what it takes to have confidence on fight night.

I’ll never be in a UFC bout; I doubt you will either.  We will, however, have moments where confidence is needed.

Reflect on what we know about confidence. It takes assurance- being absent of self-doubt.  It requires the conviction knowing you will get the job done.

Remember that confidence can’t be inherited. It takes work, sacrifice, and understanding that your self-worth will not be defined by an event.

What if the next time we ran a meeting, entered a classroom, made the sales pitch- we visualized standing outside of a dressing room. We imagined there was a crowd and our competition was fierce (you can be fully dressed for this exercise).

What if we decided to do everything in our power to make that event a success?

Would our preparation look different than usual? 

That’s how we gain confidence- through hard work, perseverance and being authentic.  Not some shortcut.   

Question for Coaches/Leaders?

How can you foster environments that breed confidence?

I have to be real with you, I experience the winter blues.  It’s tough for me to admit, but this time of year I am not my best. 
 
My biggest challenge is the withdrawal I feel from being on the go.  Once mid-January hits I’m moving fast. For the next month I will experience some downtime.  If the past is any indication, this time will be hard for me. 
 
I feel guilty for saying this.  Shouldn’t I be excited about the holiday’s?  What about the increased time at home….shouldn’t I be happy for more time with my kids? 
 
The great thing about increasing self-awareness is you begin to understand who you are.  I’m also lucky to have a spouse that also understands and supports me. 
 
In order to combat the winter blues I planned ahead this year.  Here’s how I am going to attack the next month and focus on winning days. 

Be Intentional with Time: I made a list of things I plan to accomplish.  Next, I printed out a calendar from December 15-January 15.  I began filling in the dates with different activities and task.  This simple exercise helped tremendously.
Think Week: I once read how Bill Gates and Steve Jobs would take a week and do nothing but consume content.  I’ve tried this, albeit on a much smaller scale, a few summers ago.  This year, I’m going to begin a think week on 12/29.  I won’t be able to go into full isolation like Gates did, but I will spend a considerable amount of time focused on knowledge acquisition. 
Health and Fitness: I’m going to prioritize my wellness over the next month.  History will show that I am in my worst physical and mental shape in January.  I’ve signed up for a month at a hot yoga studio from 12/17-1/17.  I’ve experimented with hot yoga and I really enjoyed it.  In addition, I’m resuming intermittent fasting. 
Peak Family Moments:  Instead of just being physically present, I want to be more engaged when I am around my kids.  I’m guilty of watching TV, checking my phone, reading emails, and succumbing to many other disruptors.  One of my favorite days is when I take our four kids shopping for our family.  I love seeing their joy in giving and not just receiving. 
Eat Some Frogs: “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first”- Mark Twain.  I have some things that I’ve been putting off doing.  I want to get those “frogs” taken care of before things get moving fast.  

I’ve learned that within every challenge lies an opportunity.  History shows that I’m less than my best this time of year.  I’m making some changes.  After reading this, my hope is you help me stay accountable. 
 

My relationship with change is complicated.  I get anxious considering the uncomfortable steps it requires; however, I’m attracted to the new possibilities it creates: better health, a new look, a change of scenery, and different responsibilities.  The thought of change causes fright. The notion of a mundane life repulses. 

When it impacts only myself, I’ve gotten better with change.  When considering the impact on those I love, it has become harder.  While the excitement of something new fires me up, it also leaves me feeling selfish.

I told you, it’s complicated. 

Connecting on Three Levels:

Recently, I attended a virtual conference focused on high-performance in sports.  There were fascinating speakers from the Premier League, NBA and the NHL. Who would have thought the presenter who impacted me the most would come from the luxury fashion industry?

Kim Wylie is the global director of people development and change at Farfetch.  According to Wylie, a leader must connect on three levels to produce lasting change.

  1. The Head-Rational Connection: How does it connect with the big picture? When discussing change leaders should explain how the change is affecting the larger operation. People need to know they are making contributions to something larger than themselves. When a leader asks an individual to change, it’s critical to articulate the impact it will create. 
  2. The Heart-Emotional Connection: What’s in it for them? Wylie contends that this is the hardest level of connection but the most important.  Leaders must work to make others feel a part of the change and allow them to shape the transition. Allowing individuals to own their new role enhances buy-in. 
  3. The Feet-Behavioral Connection: What support can you provide? A powerful example of this comes from the Brooklyn Nets.  Their General Manager, Steve Marks, understands how a new job impacts the entire family. The Nets work to ensure a smooth transition by providing lists of schools and daycares.  They realize transition can place a tremendous burden on families. The organization acknowledges this and has a process to assist. 

Final Thought:

If I wasn’t a believer before, 2020 has made it crystal clear: change is a part of life; whether I like it or not. Change is often positive, but that doesn’t mean it’s not scary. 

My guess is like me, you believe change is both unavoidable and necessary.  While this is true, we have to remember that not everyone feels this way.  We can’t dismiss people’s feelings with “stay positive” or “you should be thankful you still have a job.” Worse yet, we can’t assume our loved ones should simply adapt when asked to move to a new city, change schools and leave behind old friends. 

Investing the energy to listen and have a deep conversation is powerful.  Connecting on different levels: rational, emotional and behavioral- will help the process.  In these times of uncertainty going above and beyond to provide some level of certainty is not only necessary; it’s just the right thing to do.

Change is coming. The effective leader of the next decade will do more than just demand compliance.  They’ll be intentional about developing a culture filled with processes ensuring smooth and effective transitions. 

Question for the Week:

What are ways you can provide a level of certainty in these uncertain times? 

Upcoming Webinar:

On Wednesday, January 6th there will be a webinar discussing my new on-line course: Creating Culture.  Joe Ferraro host of the 1% Better Podcast will be joining me for a conversation on culture, change and high-performing organizations.  Here’s the link.  It would be great if you could attend. 

It was March 2017, our team was playing a very good non-conference opponent.  We had a strong team and this game would have serious playoff implications when the committee made its selection for the national tournament. 
 
The game was tied 4-4 in the bottom of the ninth.  The opposition had a runner on first with nobody out, and they laid down a bunt.  Our catcher fielded the bunt.  His throw hit the runner who was out of the running lane.  The ball ricocheted off the batter runner and went down the right field line putting the runners on 2nd and 3rd
 
The plate umpire called batter runner interference.  Boom! Good call; EXCEPT he missed a key part of the ruling.  
 
Instead of moving the lead runner back to first, he placed the lead runner at second base! I went out and argued.  The umpires reconvened and they stuck with the call.  The next hitter singled.  We lost 5-4. 
 
I was furious.  Furious at the umpires. Furious at myself for not making sure the rule was enforced and protesting the contest.  It was a game you lose sleep over. 
 
The next morning, I received this email from the crew chief:
 
Mike,
 
I wanted to personally e-mail you to apologize for the wrong ruling I made on the batter-runner interference vs [ ]. I was wrong.  The runner should have come back to first base.  There is no excuse for my not making the correct ruling.  Even when we got together, we all made the wrong call.  That’s on me.
I sincerely, apologize to you and your team.The next day I saw the umpire at the yard.  He was still visibly upset.  “I’m just sick over what I did.  There’s no excuse.  Please tell your boys I’m sorry.”
 
Mistakes and Leadership
Leaders make mistakes. Always have and always will.  The longer and higher you travel on your leadership journey the more frequently and potentially costly these “goofs” will become.  Decisions are part of the job. Sometimes you’ll make decisions under duress.  Sometimes you’ll make decisions with partial information.  You’ll falsely accuse.  You’ll mistakenly put blame on others.  
 
As I meet with more and more people, a common issue I hear is a boss’s or supervisor’s unwillingness to own a mistake.  Instead of a response similar to the umpire, they cower.  Frequently, they begin to isolate making others uncertain.  Or, they try to act as if their wrong doing never occurred.  This causes the “elephant in the room” to grow and grow.  Lack of trust follows.  Lack of loyalty follows.  Eventually, apathy sets in. 
 
What’s worse, the coach, owner or CEO then blames the subordinates.  “They just don’t get it.  What’s wrong with people nowadays,” they say. 
 
The culture is now broken.  Lies and deceit are devastating.  Leadership will look for all different reasons.  However, it all started with lack of trust from chronically failing to take ownership of mistakes. 
 
Benefits of Owning a Mistake
Why should you own a mistake?
1. It’s the right thing to do: Not everyone is confident.  The people you lead may be wondering “Was I wrong?  Should I have done more?”  They’ll lose a bit of their swagger because of your mistake.  One time is no big deal; however, over time, their make-up will be compromised.
2. Increases your credibility: You can’t fool a locker room.  Players (and employees) KNOW when something is off.  They respect your positional power; they won’t call you on the mistake.  But they know.  Admitting your mistake increases your credibility in other areas. 
3. You model accountability: Most, if not all organizations, value accountability.  We want it from our employees, however, we do a poor job of demonstrating because we fear it will make us look weak.  Nonsense.  By openly admitting shortcomings you are granting permission to others to do so. This promotes a culture that looks at issues as opportunities. 
4. It diffuses tension: Think back to my situation.  I was furious.  After the umpire owned the mistake what was I going to do?  Stay mad?  Once you own the mistake the healing process begins.  You may not be instantly forgiven. The other person’s response is not in your control.  However, an honest and sincere apology begins the process. 
5. It’s an opportunity to galvanize: Yes! Your mistake can actually pull the team together.  People tend to rally around leaders who are transparent and human.  People will run through walls for leaders they believe in.  You can’t be “all in” with someone you don’t trust. 

Follow-up
Honestly, if the umpire hadn’t emailed me I wouldn’t have the same respect for him as I do today.  Because of his humbleness, he is now one of my absolute favorites.  When he has our games I get excited.  I know we are getting an umpire who cares.  He learned from his mistake and is better now than ever. He took a bad situation and turned it into a positive. This in turn taught me a lesson in humility.  
 
This Week’s Challenge
Are you ready to get uncomfortable? 
 
This week, join me in sincerely apologizing for a mistake.  No excuses, just completely owning our part in a mishap.  Look for three different opportunities. With our spouse or significant other.With our children.With someone at work.  
I can’t wait to hear about your experience.
 

Matt Talarico, is a coordinator for the New York Yankees. He is an industry leader in base running.  Years of studying the craft of stealing bases has led Matt to a system that has produced results.  There are three styles in his system: Old School, New School and Hybrid.
 
Old School: The old-school system was developed from years of studying baseball’s great base stealers: Ricky Henderson, Vince Coleman, Lou Brock and Tim Raines – just to name a few.  The old-school technique relies on getting a standard lead, getting a good jump and using your speed to steal bases.  This method has been effective and has produced prolific results.
 
New School: The new-school system is based on momentum.  The runner is asked to start with a smaller lead and quietly extend their lead as the pitcher releases the ball.  “Tally” uses the reference of a parked car at a stop light vs. a car that has momentum as it approaches the light.  The car that has momentum is able to get a better start than its fixed counterpart.  This approach is different and can seem risky to those who teach only the old-school technique.
 
Hybrid: Matt’s hybrid system blends the two approaches to make the most effective base stealer.  The idea is to put continuous pressure on the defense.  By paying respect to history while also developing other techniques, the base runner is able to be a constant threat.
 
Old School vs. New School:
The present state of baseball is amazing.  For years, baseball relied on non-objective information when teaching and evaluating talent.  “He really hits it hard.”  “His fastball gets on you.”  “That is a sharp breaking ball.”  Now, measures such as exit velocity and spin rate can help quantify these opinions.  Many things are being challenged from the best way to optimize the batting order to defensive positioning (aka “The Shift”).   
 
The stereotypical old-school coach feels threatened by these measures.  People are trying to “reinvent the game” they will say.  Some even feel the game is being ruined by data and technology.
 
On the other end of the spectrum is the baseball person that relies solely on new-school approaches.  This person either disregards or doesn’t respect the lessons and history of the game.  They believe that data and technology are much more important than the human element.
 
Hybrid:
I believe the elite coach or baseball administrator of the future is the person who understands the history.  They possess the social agility to connect with people from all edges of the earth. The elite coach will be curious and constantly seeking ways to improve the organization’s performance, while also being acutely aware that the game is played by humans.  This person has an understanding that the world is constantly evolving.  To stay the same is impossible, you’ll either adapt or fall behind.
 
The future elite coach will be a beautiful compliment of old school and new school philosophies.
 
Real World Application:
As I travel and connect with organizations, one of the biggest challenges I witness is the Old School vs. New School approach.  The more seasoned managers, partners and employees tend to value: hard work, dressing professionally, phone conversations over email or text, structured compensation packages, and long hours.  The Old School was taught and rewarded for this type of work ethic.  They believe everyone should put forth time and effort.
 
The folks entering the workforce tend to have a different approach.  Many prefer more of a work/life balance, flexible hours, incentive based pay and promotion structure, and they communicate via technology (text, email, twitter).  The New School workforce pushes the envelope and they want to find the quickest and most efficient way to get a job done.
 
The Competitive Advantage:
If you or your organization is experiencing this rub, you are far from alone.  While most organizations spend time complaining about the issue it’s time to challenge yourself to be different.  The old school values will always have a place in winning organizations. 
 
On the other hand, you can’t “hack” the system; the work needs to be done.  Standards need maintained with high level accountability. With that being said, the new school approach will keep your organization moving forward.  The hunger to learn new data points and technology can be critical.
 
Just like in baseball, the elite leader of the future will pay homage to the past while seeking new and better ways of doing business or leading a classroom.  They will have the ability to be a connector; being able to relate and pull together the unique skills of a diverse workforce.
 
Leadership Challenge:
Deep self-evaluation is critical.  Before we can lead others, we need to understand our beliefs and biases.  Take a moment and reflect on these questions:

  1.  Is your default setting more Old School or New School?
  2.  If you’re Old School, how can you become more open to change and technology?  What are you potentially missing out on?
  3.  If you are New School, what can you learn from the history of your industry?  How are you  limiting your growth potential?
  4.  In what ways can you connect those you lead who have different default settings?    Reimagine ways to bring folks together for the organization.
  5.  Are you surrounding yourself with people who share the same default setting?

To purchase Matt Talarico’s book, check out his website here: www.stealbases.com. Or, to chat about my personal philosophy, feel free to reach out.

Iowa St. is not a football power house. In the three seasons prior to Head Coach Matt Campbell’s arrival, their record was 8-28. Campbell’s first year in 2016 the Cyclones were 3-9. Since then, the program has been trending upward: 8-5; 8-5; 7-6. Currently they are 8-2, ranked #9 in the country, and are sitting atop the B12 standings. 

I’m sure Coach Campbell is a phenomenal football mind; however, smart football people are a dime a dozen. His success, in my opinion, is because he is a culture builder. 

The word culture makes people cringe. It has become a buzz word. Culture is not ping pong tables, bean bag chairs, and casual dress.  Building culture requires deep internal work, self-reflection, and is centered on developing championship behaviors in the people of the organization.

The Best Version of Ourselves:

Through observation, I believe Iowa State’s culture is the pursuit of being the best version of themselves. In the press conference following their big win over Texas, Campbell mentioned “the best version of ourselves” multiple times. Here are three quotes:

“And the greatest thing that has allowed this team, and really our staff and probably me in general, is to put ego away and really evaluate and try to figure out how do you chart a course to become the best version of yourself you can be. “

“And then how do we do a great job of giving this program consistency and the opportunity to become the best version of ourselves we can be?

“Well, I think I’d be really disappointed if we didn’t get on the plane, flush it, and enjoy the fact we were able to win, and then by tomorrow, be ready to sit back and dissect it. And say, Man, what didn’t we do well? What do we need to get better at? How do we continue to improve. So if we want to continue to grow and have a chance to be the best version of ourselves we can be and reach our full potential, then we’ll have to come back and take that same mindset.” 

Can Iowa St. compete year in and year out with the blue bloods of college football? Probably not. But….can they work relentlessly toward being the best version of themselves? Definitely.  

What do Indiana Baseball and Iowa St. Football have in common?

It’s amazing how things come full circle. This spring, Indiana University’s head baseball coach, Jeff Mercer, met with our team via Zoom. We asked him a question about how he handles players who are disappointed with their playing time. His answer was magnificent. “You have to have a goal outside of the result. Everyone in our program’s job is to be the best version of themselves. Whether you played in the game or not, the responsibility is to be the best version of yourself.”

Coach Mercer is an outstanding person, and Indiana baseball is a tremendous program. Iowa St, under Coach Campbell, is on the rise. Maybe there is something to building a culture based on the pursuit of being the best version of ourselves?
(At the bottom of this article are two videos from Campbell and Mercer. Tell me you wouldn’t want to play for these men.)

Final Thought:

It’s easy to say an organization’s success is due to luck. It’s also easy to recite perceived advantages. However, when studying high performing teams, I’m blown away by their intentional approach to culture building. 

To some, a phrase like “the best version of ourselves” is soft. It doesn’t focus on winning or championships. I would push back and say simply having a goal of winning is soft. There’s no substance behind it. Watch a little kid, they want to win, and if they don’t they pout. The same unproductive behavior is frequently found in organizations focusing exclusively on results. 

Consider the idea of being the best version of ourselves. It is a challenging but rewarding pursuit. It’s 100% completely within our control. Everyone has a different starting point in life and circumstances are different. The starting point has nothing to do with the ability to be our best selves. It’s far from soft. It takes away all excuses. There are no outside comparisons. No envy.

It’s simply a mission to show up for those we love in the best way possible. 

What if everyone in your organization owned that goal? 

Reflection Question:

Could you or your organization benefit from shifting the focus to being the best version of yourself? 

Big Announcement Next Week:

I’ve been working on creating a culture and leadership course. Check it out!

(Article was originally released in December of 2018)

Last spring, the Villanova men’s basketball team blasted the University of Michigan 79-62 to win their second national title in three years.  During the net cutting ceremony, a reporter interviewed several of the Wildcat players.  This video, while long for some (7:53), is my favorite clip of 2018.  We get a raw peak at an elite culture.    

Here are my top ten takeaways from the video:
Villanova’s Championship Culture:
1.  Win with People: The players reference “the great group of guys” seven times in the clip.  The word “love” is mentioned three times.  Talent is important.  The blend of the right talent and great people creates champions.
2.  Gratitude is Present: The player’s easily and frequently used: “thank you,” “please,” and “sir.” You could feel their gratitude for being a part of something special.
3.  Defense Wins: Defense and rebounding was mentioned five times. Donte DiVincezo, the tournament MVP, scored 31 points in the game but his first comment was how he had to learn how to play the defensive side of the ball.  
4.  Face Adversity: You could tell individually and collectively the group faced challenges and obstacles.  Adversity will always be there.  It’s how groups choose to respond.  
5.  Role Players aren’t “Role Players”:  The second unit of Villanova didn’t just maintain, they brought energy and saw themselves as starters.  To win at the highest level, everyone must decide to dominate their role.  
6.  Selfless: I didn’t hear one person talk about themselves and they were quick to mention others.  In fact, you could sense the joy in their voices as they spoke of their teammates.  
7.  Winning is hard: “There was a lot of hard work and a lot of tough moments.  We’ve been coached and everyone stepped up.”  Everyone says they want to achieve at a high level.  Very few know just how much sacrifice goes into it.  
8.  Process not the result:  It is mentioned twice how they never focused on winning a championship or “blowing someone out.”  They did focus on playing hard, fast and together.  
9.  Internal Competition: One young man, mentions the battles every day in practice.  Championship programs are loaded with talented, tough and committed players.  If you want to win big, you better be ready to compete.
10.  It’s not about any one person: If you want to be a star and receive all the limelight, you probably should avoid a championship culture.  The system is the star.  You give up a lot as an individual for the ultimate jubilation of winning championships.  

Very rarely do you get a raw, unscripted video like this.  It shows the buy-in necessary to achieve elite level results.  Sure, this video and article have a slant toward basketball but many of these characteristics are found in high functioning organizations in every field.  Please feel free to get in touch if you’d like to discuss with me further!
This was my favorite video of 2018….a raw look at a championship culture

As a collegiate baseball coach I work mainly with 18-22 year old males. As a former person in this demographic, I can assure you young adults do dumb things. Sometimes really dumb things. 
When incidents occur there is a great deal of frustration. There is often pressure to remove the athlete or to impose a strong punishment. If your punishment doesn’t please the masses you appear soft on discipline. Or, worse yet, accusations emerge claiming you only care about winning.

Here’s what people forget, we are dealing with human beings. A human being who, with the right guidance, can make the most of a second chance. It’s much easier to remove a person from the team or organization. Removal has the outward presence of being a disciplinarian or “tough on crime.” 

What’s worse? There will be times when you provide a second or fifth chance and you get burned. The critics are even louder when this occurs. 

I don’t know if it’s the holiday season or the crazy state of the world, but the importance of empathy keeps reappearing. Below are three stories with short videos centering around second chances and empathy. Click on the title to view the video.


1.    The Story of Caron Butler– Butler played 14 seasons in the NBA. Presently he is an assistant coach with the Miami Heat. His success almost never happened. Raised in Racine, WI- Caron was arrested 15 times before his 15th birthday. At the age of 14, he received a year-long sentence. Upon his release, he committed to turning his life around. Less than two years removed from incarceration, Butler’s house was raided by the police. They found crack cocaine and other drugs in an adjacent garage. There was enough evidence for lead officer, Rick Geller, to arrest Butler. If convicted he would have faced a minimum sentence of 10 years. Geller trusted his instincts- he noticed Butler was in complete disbelief. In an unbelievable display of empathy, Geller decided not to issue an arrest. He told Butler, “I hope I don’t regret this.” Geller has been proven right. Butler now owns multiple Burger King franchises, works to bridge the gap between police and communities, and is active in supporting at-risk youth. What if Geller would have decided to charge Butler on that fateful day?


2.    Nick Saban on Second Chances– In a press conference in 2014, Nick Saban delivered an epic rant concerning second chances. When players get in trouble he challenged conventional thinking on discipline. “Where do you want them to be? On the streets? Or here graduating?” He then references Mohsin “Moose” Muhammed who Saban coached at Michigan State. Muhammed was arrested for having a loaded gun, which was in violation of his probation from a previous charge. “Everybody in the school, every newspaper guy, everybody was killing the guy because he got in trouble and said he shouldn’t be on the football team.” After an amazing NFL career, Muhammed is a leader in business and the community. He is the President of M2 Foundation for kids, he and his wife have adopted two daughters from Ethiopia, and he is also the cofounder of a private equity firm. Saban ends the rant by saying, “So, who was right?”  


3.    Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care- this video always makes me pause. It shows how every person is facing their own challenges. It’s a great reminder for all of us to be more forgiving and understanding. 

Final Thought:

I get it. The stories above are isolated accounts. There are times when second chances do not work out. The leader is charged with upholding organizational standards . Despite their best efforts to serve the individual, there are behaviors that warrant removal. There isn’t always another chance.


I hope, however, that today’s article gives you the strength to make decisions based upon what you believe to be right, not because of public pressure. Showing support for a person when the rest of the world appears to be abandoning them is incredibly powerful. It’s something that person never forgets. We all need an encourager to stand with us. The critics will always be there….who cares about them.

We are working with sons and daughters, fathers and mothers. As leaders, it’s our job to fight for the culture of our organization. But, we must remember to do it in the most human way possible. 

I have made mistakes, received a break, and capitalized on the second chance. 

Can you recall a time when you made a mistake, could have been severely punished, and received forgiveness? 

There’s a good chance someone showed you empathy. Maybe you’ll have an opportunity to pay the same grace forward. 

**Special shout out to coach Adam Mosley of Hoover High School and coach Tom Marker of Olentangy Orange for sharing the Caron Butler video.**

Mushin Muhammad article