Coachability, trust and some nuggets from Urban Meyer

“Lead with the left foot. Don’t cross your feet.”  These were the words from my boxing instructor last July when I was learning the craft.  “Move your head.  Your just standing there like a robot.” Here I was, a coach for over 13 years.  I was the one used to giving the instructions…now the shoe was on the other foot.  When I was working the punching bag I was able to move in the correct pattern, my head bobbed and weaved, and I was able (at times) to execute.  But when I sparred it went all out the window.  I would cross my feet and oftentimes stand in the middle of the ring.  I have long arms and I would use them for defense; bobbing and weaving were out the window.  Basically, when the lights went on I didn’t do a thing that I was taught.

My instructor clearly told me what to do.  I knew the “right” way and I still couldn’t perform.  Did I lack coach-ability?  Would you label me as “uncoachable”? Could I  “not be coached?”

Of course this is just not limited to sports. You have a new software system in place.  You provided the training.  The software works really well for you; however, you have a few members on your team who just will not get on board.  In the education profession, teachers are asked to submit progress reports.  Your directions are clear and concise.  With that being said, there are still a number of teachers who are resistant to the change.  The list goes on and on.   Every profession has its issues.

In my profession, coaches typically resort to name calling or labeling in these situations.  Whatever the term used: “uncoachable,” lacks coach-ability, entitled,
“he thinks he knows everything,” etc etc- we basically deflect the blame and put it on the student.  We may go as far as claiming the person “doesn’t want it bad enough” or that they lack the intestinal fortitude to be great.

Yes, there are those students, athletes, and employees who just don’t get it.  They have poor attitudes and just are not going to change.  However, the vast majority of people are extremely coachable.  The problem lies not in desire but more in a lack of trust.

Trust
Ohio State head football coach, Urban Meyer, delivered a speech on developing trust at the Mississippi St. Coaching clinic (see link below for the full lecture).  As leaders, we all want results.  Before we get results, we must first develop trust, followed by commitment and teamwork.  Leaders have a tendency to gloss over trust.  “I’m the coach, CEO, owner, teacher, or manager- everyone should trust me.”  Guess what? In 2016 it doesn’t work that way.  Let’s look at the “Three C’s of Trust” according to Coach Meyer.

1. Character- “Repeated experiences of you doing the right thing over and over.”Sure, we all talk about character and we like to think that we are “good people.”The people we lead are constantly evaluating; they want to know if we have their best interest at heart.They want to know if you are a person of your word.They want to know if you love your family.Character is living and breathing; character evaluation never ends.Also, character is telling the truth.It’s saying, “I made a mistake.”Well-intentioned leaders often sabotage their character trying to protect their image instead of taking the blame.If your people doubt your character you will never completely earn their trust.
2. Competency- “Repeated experiences of them watching you do your job well over and over.” This generation can see through the fluff.They know if you are prepared and on point.Leading is exhausting.Every team meeting is like playing a national championship to me.Every time you meet with your team, class, or unit is an opportunity to display your knowledge.If you lack competency your team will lack trust.
3. Connection- “the ability to connect with your people.”As we advance in age or title the challenge becomes greater to relate to your people.And, in an organization that is growing, the physical distance can also be difficult.If you are a CEO and rarely meet face-to-face with your reports, the connection will be lacking and so will the trust.As Simon Sinek states, in Leaders Eat Last, “Abstraction kills.”A quick way to kill trust is to have no connection.

First You Must Trust Yourself
There is one more layer to the topic of trust that is often overlooked: you have to trust yourself.  Please let me explain.  We coaches and leaders are quick to call someone “uncoachable” or “stubborn” when they don’t follow our instructions.  Oftentimes they just are not trained at a high enough level, yet.  Going back to my boxing lessons, I can promise you I wanted to do everything right.  However, once we went live, I knew I was going to get hit if I was thinking about “left, slide right” instead of watching for my training partner’s right hand.  It wasn’t me “not wanting to” as much as, “I’m not ready for this.” As the Greek lyrical poet Archilochus said, “We don’t rise to our level of expectations we fall to the level of our training. “

This Week’s Challenge
As we move forward in your leadership journey let’s be slow to label and judge our people.  Before we claim someone is stubborn, lazy or insubordinate- let’s first evaluate some things:

1. Do we have things in the right order: TRUST, commitment, and teamwork, followed by results?Or are we expecting commitment, for example, before we have earned the trust??
2. Analyze your Character, Competency and Connection.Be honest.Where are you falling short?
3. Are you mistaking Coach-Ability with lack of Training? My guess is the vast majority of your people want to please and do things right.Your job is to create a safe environment for them.

Here’s the competitive advantage for us: the majority of coaches, teachers and leaders blame the players, students and employees.  They lack the toughness to analyze their shortcomings.  Remember, the leader sets the pace.  If you are not getting the results you want it is more than likely a trust issue.  What are you willing to do to earn their trust??